What I Think Of Being Blessed

blessed

I think,

That we all ought to have the chance to look at ourselves through the eyes of another,

To see the very beautiful or not so pretty traits, that we carry with us each and every day.

I think,

That if we look at ourselves as honestly as we can,

We will slow down and invest in ourselves, in others, in God; and in living a fuller, happier life.

I think

That being blessed is often looked at from one perspective,

Of financial muscle, fame and material wealth.

However, I think,

That we are all not all destined to be rich/famous, but bound to be wealthy in one way or other,

Through our families, friends, health, and in peace of mind.

My heart breaks

For individuals maimed with misfortune,

But I think that Sometimes God sends us that misfortune just in time, to keep us from death.

With this I think

That sometimes blessings thrive in silence, and that they manifest themselves in the most “unblessed” forms,

To  keep us grounded, make us more alive, more aware, and more thankful.

So,

Does being blessed, make you more arrogant, reckless, and unavailable?

If so, perhaps forced humility is Gods greatest blessing for you.

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Of failing, and not showing up

 

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You don’t know how to be kind.

You exude traits of selfishness and unreliability.

You can’t do the simplest of things that matter,

The little things that transcend vain words.

 

You don’t know, not because you were born like that,

But because it’s a vicious circle.

You bumped into people who were selfish and unreliable.

You met people who were unkind.

 

And because you chose to embark on a journey of understanding,

You became numb,

You became less questioning,

You became less Naggy,

You became less annoyed.

 

But these things devoured your soul,

And you began being that pillar of disappointment as well.

 

You see,

No amount of understanding,

No amount of love,

And no amount of selflessness from your end,

Will change their Active. Choice. To fail you.

Because failing, is a choice.

Failing you is a choice.

 

When it all seems bleak,

You will meet people.

Amazing people who will melt your heart with kindness.

People who will surprise you with the sheer magnitude of their selflessness.

People who don’t know what walking out is,

Even when you deserve every footstep walking away from you.

 

These People will love you unconditionally,

From the tips of your toes straight to your undeserving soul.

They will give you so much,

So much that your own selfish heart masters the art of kindness again.

 

Sometimes, these people already existed,

Sometimes they just show up when you need it the most.

 

You will then make an active choice to walk with the hearts of those who never fail you.

Not because you know which paths are best to walk through with them,

Not because you are a perfect being, who has it all figured out,

But because you understand that “showing up” in the simplest of ways,

Depicts your active choice not to fail them.

 

Mostly, you will choose to walk with them,

Because you know you owe it to them,

And to yourself,

To show up, as relentlessly as they have shown up for you.

 

I’m just trying to figure it out

I took the first scary jump of handling my hair situation. It started with a small snip of the split ends, then came two more bold chops in two consequent months. With the new do came fore-seen challenges. Challenges that only women with short textured hair can relate to. Right now, I’m fumbling through which products to use, and how to keep it sane. But I must say it’s fun to run my fingers through the kinkiness when I’m bored.  And I love that it’s tough, kinky, and mine. But this is such a strange stage. Because honestly, I’m just trying to figure it out.

I’m not the best at spending or saving money. But I surely must appreciate that I have come a long way. The hustles and bustles of being on the grind trying to make a coin independently, comes with great rewards. But age and some newfound experience teaches me the importance of learning to work, and enjoy my hard earned money; but also being wise enough while doing it . I’m learning that every woman should be sensible enough to save for a rainy day. That the money you make should be able to help a person other than yourself. That money comes and goes. And the hard lesson that unexpected things can happen, that require your financial attention; and have the potential to throw your financial plans off balance. I guess i’m getting better at this whole financial aspect. But this is such a strange stage. Because honestly, I’m just trying to figure it out.

I’m very entrepreneurial in my own right. I guess going to get what I want is an easy concept for me. I’ve had a job in sales, I’ve been an intern in an architectural firm, and have also been an intern in an interior design firm. I’ve have also successfully started and run two small businesses on my own. I’ve done African jewelry and cupcakes all in different time spans. Additionally, I tutor guitar, I run my own blog, and I write on the sides too. I love all that I’ve learnt through the different brief “career” paths I’ve had. Their extreme differences have taught me invaluable lessons, and I want to try a few more; just before I can chose a suitable business venture for my future. Additionally, I’m trying to build my professional interior design career as well. With this comes the massive attempts to master my craft, and learn as many skills as necessary. Because it is important for me to raise my competencies, to levels that will be beneficial to myself and to the organizations I shall work for. But it takes a lot of discipline to juggle all that I set out. And I must say this is such a strange stage. Because honestly, I’m just trying to figure it out.

I love this journey into womanhood. It comes with learning: how to look and feel my best, how to make the most of my day, how to be the most helpful at home, how to make little steps towards my five year plan. Additionally, I’m learning to multitask like every great woman should. I’m also learning how to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, and a better friend. Most importantly, the day to day running’s teaches me how to incorporate other people in my life other than myself. Although I must say this is a struggle. Why? Because I really value alone time. Then comes the issues of patience, grace and self-respect. The learning curve has proven that people will treat you how you want them to. That having respectable levels of standards, has such vast positive outcomes. That we are responsible to make proactive choices for ourselves that will either uplift our lives, or drop us down a steep cliff. That good things come to those who wait. That respect is two way. And that being patient, gracious but at the same headstrong; will pull more positive people into your space. But again, isn’t some of these common sense items that we often choose to overlook? I must say, this is such a strange stage. Because honestly, I’m just trying to figure it out.

I’m a bit precautious, about the whole dating scene. Because so many forget that a love partnership takes really high levels of: respect, consideration, humility, mutual understanding, and independence on both ends.  But mainly because it is really easy to forget that actions mean more than uttered words. Let’s not even get to the fact that there are hundreds of mediocre men strutting themselves around. But we must agree, no one is really perfect right? And I cant honestly take away the fact that there are so many amazing individuals as well. But i must admit, it gets so lonely sometimes. Then unexpectedly, being single gets so comfortable; that the idea of dating seems like a complete inconvenience. But with all those personal milestones to achieve, would it be sane to introduce someone else into the frenzy? This is such a strange stage. Because honestly, I’m just trying to figure it out.

What are you trying to figure out? please let me know in the comment section below.

Like, share, follow and have a lovely week ahead.

Cheers

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MY COMPILED BUCKET LIST- to complete by december 2015

thgggg
Thanks to suggestions from friends and family, the internet, and ideas of my own, i have finally completed my bucket list. I aim to complete it before the end of 2015.

1. Write and record a song
2. Perfect my guitar playing skills
3. Camp outside
4. Make home made ice cream
5. Go bungee jumping
6. Go-cart racing
7. Go paragliding
8. Eat a whole pizza alone
9. Go ice skating
10.Make an ugali- chapati sandwich and eat it
11. Climb a mountain
12. Identify random people you think have a story about themselves, approach them, have a chat, take just one photo of them then send it to them after three months. Its a good way to make friends
13. Go fishing
14. Go deep-see diving
15. Have dinner all dressed up at Kempinsky
16. Eat 3kgs of junk in one day
17. Do something
drastic with my hair….e.g change hair color or length or go natural

18. Make a large art piece
19. Learn how to use chopsticks
20. Stay awake for 24 hours
21. Take a trip to a place i have never been before
22. Boat racing
23. Try speed dating / go on a blind date
24. Road trip
25. Make 200 cupcakes in a day
26. Learn to strip dance
27. Learn a new language
28. Run a marathon
29. Go horse back riding
30. Give a heartfelt surprise to someone
31. Make a difference in someones life
32. Start a business
33. Fly in a hot air balloon
34. Learn basic sign language
35. Be a waiter for a day, just for the experience
36. Go on a cruise
37. Design my dream home
38. Get a pet
39. Read a book on a subject I have never thought of reading
40. Fly a kite
41. Try being a vegeterian for a month
42. Fold 1,000 origami cranes and give them to someone special
43. Find a career i enjoy
44. Organize a picnic outing
45. Hit bulls eye on a dartboard
46. Ride a roller coaster
47. Get one million views for my blog
48. Move out
49. Learn to drive a car
50. Go paint balling

As i promised, i will post photos of myself taking part in the items on the list. So i hope you will enjoy my one year journey as much as i intend to !!!
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Can we please move on to 24?

 appreciastion

So this year has been a roller coaster. My highs have been really high, and the lows have been really low. Basically i have experienced both extreme ends of the spectrum, with very few instances being an in between. Time has unfolded what needed to be unearthed, beyond attractive facades. It is interesting to realize how much i look but don’t actually see. How much i hear but don’t actually listen. So i don’t regret all the awful experiences i have had, that i shall laugh about in a few years time.

On another note, the year has taught me a lot about appreciation. I have come to appreciate some very simple things in mind blowing capacities. So as the year ends, i can probably share my list, and maybe you can sit and meditate upon the simple of things that you don’t often appreciate.
so here goes my list:

1. I am grateful for my hands, and my very creative and artistic personality.
I am a very hands on person. My hands and my artistic personality have paved way for the unveiling of amazing opportunities for me.

2. The love-hate relationship i have with my job, and school.
Sometimes i am in school and i just hate the idea of having to go to class. I know you have also had those days when you really feel the urge to sleep in, or just chill out and have a lazy day. Then comes work. Some days are really hard, some are a breeze. But my greatest motivation, is the fact that i am fortunate enough to have the most amazing boss i can probably ask for. I hope that we continue to work amicably as time goes by.I am very grateful for all the opportunities that have come my way, especially in the last few months. And as i almost close the chapter of being in campus, i remain grateful that i had the opportunity to go to school without major challenges.

3. My girlfriends
I have spent so much time the last few years with these young women. You know, the kind of friends who know intricate details about your life: the good, the bad, the ugly. With them i have made wonderful memories over the years, and i can confidently call them my family.

4. My soon to be business partner( Kalekye Muia).
She brings out the best in me, and make me very happy. With her, i can be my true self. She is the kind of person who we have very serious conversations with, but at most times we become very silly and very peculiar individuals. Our company always reminds me that life is not too serious. From her, i have learned that we can grasp everything that is within and beyond our reach. Most importantly, i have learned from her the true meaning of loyalty .So i hope that as we continue to grow as friends, we can also grow in our new business venture and realize our goals.

5. My very supportive parents
You know, these are the people who still love you when everyone else is not obligated to. They have seen a fair share of all the bullshit you can dish-out, but are relentless in the efforts to guide and support you. No matter how old you grow, you will always be their baby. From them, i have learned a thing or two about sacrifice.

6. My health
I have been fortunate enough to have good health and that doesn’t go unnoticed.

7. My brother (Michael Osidiana).
I am grateful that i have a sibling that i am very close to. He is very kind, very supportive and very interesting to be around . With him, my childhood remains memorable. I wish him good health and wealth, and that life remains kind to him.

8. That i have all the basics in life
I appreciate that i have a comfortable bed, clothes, food,a roof over my head and all basic necessities without major challenges. Life has taught me to work hard, but at the same time to be contented in my capacities.

9. All the new friends i continue to make
I appreciate how much your mind opens up when you meet new friends of different personalities, characters and mindsets. Interacting with new people shows you different ways of looking at life. From them you can choose what you can incorporate in your life or what should be ignored.

10. The grace to know when to hold on and when to let go
i am grateful that this year God has graced me with the strength to know when to hold on and when to let go. This applies to all aspects in life.

All in all, 23 has been the epitome of growth and maturity. I am grateful for all who have contributed towards my growth in the oddest ways, and i apologize to all who i rubbed the wrong way. I hope to make better decisions in the future as i evolve into the woman i aspire to become.

Each day, the thought that lessons don’t go away until you actually learn what they intend to teach; resonates a lot more. So i guess i have learned all of the life lessons that i need to for a year . So can we please move on to 24?

MY BUCKET LIST- with your help

bucket list
The other day i sat and wondered if i actually am living. We tend to think that living means: waking up each day, following through a routine,and getting things done. So today in the attempt of exposing myself to an enormous realm of possibilities, I have come up with a little mini-project that i should complete by the end of December 2015. My bucket list.

Ordinarily, i would quickly scribble what i would like to do. I however want to tackle this with a different approach by asking for a little help with this. I want to ask my friends, my family, strangers, and you the reader to suggest to me an out of the box item or two from your bucket list. I basically want to borrow your interesting ideas and create a list of 50 items for myself.

A month from now, i will have a fully compiled list. Soon after, i will make attempts on two items on the list each month, and post photos of myself taking part in them. If you are interested in taking this journey with me, feel free to follow my blog and most importantly, feel free to leave a suggestion at the comment section. Please keep in mind that the theme is “living a little”, so be imaginative, crazy and creative!