GUM

HIT BY A GUSH OF SMELL

I read an interesting post the other day. The piece had some sort of pointers that anyone can use to easily identify a dirty woman. Among many valid points on the list, was the assertion made by the author that a lady’s cleanliness can be defined by whether or not she has some chewing gum in her bag.

That assertion in my opinion seems a bit much. Why? Because all along I have been aware of some basic essentials that a woman needs to have in her purse at all times. And quite frankly, gum hasn’t been one of them. I mean, isn’t it unfair to make such a loose argument to sterotype a woman who has everything within her cleanliness department in order? Anyway, the topic has resonated the last few weeks. And I still felt that the gum assumption was harsh.

But my opinion changed yesterday.

I was on my way home from work in the evening, and I sat next to a certain lady. She looked quite neat, presentable and well kempt. You know: her hair looked nice, her eyebrows were on point, her clothes were presentable, and she smelled relatively good for someone who was up and about that day. I must say, she was scoring highly in the “all clean- woman” score card. But that was until she opened her mouth.

It would be safe to say that I survived a nasty nasal block by God’s grace.

But if we were to be a bit human and realistic, i can’t really blame her. You know, she probably showers twice a day, and brushes her teeth twice a day. Perhaps she even flosses her teeth. However during the day, there are moments when your mouth keeps shut for such long periods of time. For instance, when you are seated in your car, or on the matatu ride home. I mean, you can’t quite help the silence sometimes. I know that  you may occassionally get a talkative person seated next to you to keep your jaws active.  But on the moments that you don’t, you can’t talk to yourself right?

Come to think about it,  perhaps she felt like my mouth had a horrendous smell as well. I don’t know. Needless to say, I learnt my lesson. And I purchased myself a pack of gum.

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